October 19, 2011

Danger at the Lab!

Self Destruct Sequence Initiated

This is an urgent message to all Artix Entertainment personnel. EbilCorp has learned the location of our the secret underground lab.  The self destruct sequence has been activated.... we have 3 days before it kabooms. The explosion will be pretty big, so please time your game releases this week so that immediately after you make the release live, we run out and jump with the explosion cinematically exploding behind us. That would look really cool. On Monday, you will all report to our new upgraded base of operations. This is not a drill. The self destruct sequence cannot be stopped. Secret Underground Lab #3's last release will be this Friday.... then, NEXT WEEK, we will be releasing updates for ALL GAMES from our NEW and improved secret base! Below are responsibilities and duties for the evacuation... Battle on!

Galanoth & Faith: Coordinate the move. Mark all of the experimental bio-nueral implants as fragile. (Means made in France, right?)
Alina: Feed the server hamsters
Thyton: Transport the cyborg laser sharks. Remember, Chippy needs his vitamins at 6am, NOT 8am.
Cysero: Keep rocking on the TMBG Part 2 this week... it looks like a really big release! Please remember to add a few level 45 enhancements to go along with that new class!
Korin: Can we use your bag to pack stuff?
Beleen & Yergen: Can you rig the new elavator in lab #4 to play the elevator music from Portal? (I am being dead serious.)

Rolith says, "Um, Artix. Why does the new Secret Underground Lab look like the Guardian Tower? ... and the area around it looks exactly like the town of Battleon in real life.... right down to the fountain!"
Artix replies, "I was wondering when someone was going to notice. Ok... so our new home might be more of a... Secret Above Ground Guardian Stronghold. Do you think we could get that Carrabba's (Itallian restaurant) to change it's name to Yulgar's inn?"